sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize