I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
