this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize