worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You're like the curious george of whores
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
