New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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