I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
