Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
