i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize