maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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