how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
