At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
