she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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