I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This baby is an asshole
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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