Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
