direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So apparently I’m into choking now
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