I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
