hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
