is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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