Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize