i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
