It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
