Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
