awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
