Will you blow on my dice?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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