it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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