he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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