the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
