I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
