I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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