i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
