no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Terrible idea I love it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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