So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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