STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
