SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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