Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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