So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
