well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
