Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize