at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
