I want to have your abortion
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He felt like a one man threesome
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
