its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
