I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
