your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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