Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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