I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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