Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
