Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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