So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
