I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
