hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and she was petting her beer can
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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