There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
