He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
