this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
