Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
