Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
