it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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