Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
