i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
