thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
